Nicole: It wasn’t
the best of the best red carpet last night – but there were some really great
highlights and some “WTF was she thinking?” moments.
Melissa
McCarthy. Bridesmaids.
elizabeth: Now, I thought Melissa
McCarthy was quite funny in a movie that otherwise was offensive at times, but
now I have something else to hate – this gown. The color and style make her
look like she shops in Plus Sized Girls
Are Not Allowed To Be Sexy and she deserves better. The sleeves should be
ripped off. That would be a good start.
Nicole: I agree, the more I look
at this schmattah, the more I realize just how friggin’ ugly it is. While the
cut isn’t so terrible, she really needs to take a page from Octavia Spencer’s
book. Now that is how a curvy woman should dress.
Glenn Close. Albert Nobbs.
elizabeth: An older actress in a tux dress? Who would have thought. Glenn is
still sexy, so why be all covered up? I am surprised she didn’t wear an apron
over it.
Nicole: Well, it’s not THE worst I’ve seen, but it’s a yawn-fest of a
dress. Just so, so boring. Glenn should consult with Helen Mirren the next time
she wants to rock the red carpet. Helen knows how to work it.
Angelina Jolie doing the Funky Chicken
elizabeth: is she ice skating under that gown? What
is this woman doing with her leg? It’s a slit; we would have found this out
sooner or later. Angelina took a perfectly beautiful gown and made herself look
completely goofy in it. So now I would say there is hope for all of us.
Nicole: OMG. I
cannot agree with you more on the goofy thing going on here. This is definitely
a WTF moment. I don’t think Angelina realizes how unattractive she’s become –
and this stance is proving it. Doesn’t she see how totally skeletal she’s
become? Couple that with the pale hue of her skin and I’m seriously thinking
she’s Nosferatu.
Sacha Baron Cohen
elizabeth: This
man is a jackass. Albeit a good looking jackass. In this day and age, are
terrorists funny? Or good looking?
Nicole: I will
say this much – pranking Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet will forever delight
me to no end.
Rooney Mara. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
elizabeth: Love her bangs. It’s
Audrey Hepburn looking for a meal look, but I love this look. Youthful, edgy
and she stands out in the crowd. And her legs are where they should be as opposed
to Ms. Jolie.
Nicole: Cassidy, are you smoking the ganga? She looks like crap. That
dress is a travesty. And she needs to buy herself a personality with that
billion bucks her family owns.
Penelope Cruz
elizabeth: This is going to kill me to say this, but this is my favorite
gown. The cut, the fabric and the train are all reminiscent of a different time and era. Why do I hate to give Penelope Cruz her
props? She gets to wake up with Javier Bardem and that kinda sticks in my craw
– whatever the hell my craw is. She can’t have everything!!!!
Nicole: You’re so transparent. As if we couldn’t guess the reason you
hate Penelope Cruz. Pah-lease. While I do love this dress, my favorite of the
evening was Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli.
Sandra Bullock
elizabeth: Dear Sandy, I have had days when I put on
something and then realized too late that I was so, so mistaken and the guilt
washes over me. Did you feel that way on Oscar night? Well, girlfriend you
should have. Nothing ages a beautiful woman more then to wear her grandmother’s
dress. Give it back to her. Please.
Nicole: It’s like
a trifecta of wrong. It’s ill-fitted, whatever that design around the waist is
looks as if it’s strangling her, and the color-blocking is sooooo unflattering.
Oof. Hot mess.
