The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

2012. PG-13. 124 minutes. Starring Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Dev Patel, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson. Directed by John Madden. 

British retirees travel to India to take up residence in what they believe is a newly restored hotel. Less luxurious than its advertisements, the Marigold Hotel nevertheless slowly begins to charm in unexpected ways. (imdb)

elizabeth: I think I can speak for Nicole (by putting my hand in her back and barely moving my lips) when I say we were both very excited about seeing The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The cast is a who’s who of some of the best British actors around. Okay, okay, Colin Firth was not available. I think he was on the set of Bridget Jones Goes Through Menopause.

This movie is a travelogue about India – a country I am not all that familiar with. Perhaps it is the poverty and the caste system that doesn’t pull me into discovering more about it. But this movie is a love story about the people who live in crowded conditions and as a westerner I was moved to see this and pleasantly surprised to see happy people. It almost felt that the story we came to experience was somewhere in the background. As much as I was drawn into India’s story, I was missing the Brits and their tales.

But when Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson and the rest of this brilliant cast did show up and tell their stories, I was taken in and happily so. But I wanted more of their stories. My secret favorite (I guess it is not a secret anymore) is Ronald Pickup who was Howard the horny man on a mission.

Nicole: …ahem, can I speak now? Hope I didn’t give you splinters, cassidy. Though that is kinda what you deserve keeping me cooped up in that suitcase you drag from gig to gig. But I digress…

I enjoyed this movie, but not so much that I’d sit down to watch it again. Nor do I think it will be remembered come Oscar time (even if Dev Patel gave a wonderful performance as the near-do-well Sonny). That’s probably because the character development of this rather large cast was sloppy and ill-formed. Frankly, I think I knew more about the four or so elderly women sitting in the row in front of us than the actual cast of this movie. 

elizabeth:  I think the most important thing I am taking away from this movie is that age that does not mean that finding love and having a healthy love (sex) life is no longer a reality. (Thank God!!!)

And Dev Patel who portrayed Sonny Kapoor, the current owner of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel deserves an Oscar nomination. He made me believe that anything is possible. And how freaking great is that?

Nicole: It’s interesting that they were able to assemble such a star-studded English cast such as this with an underdeveloped script. I know it sounds like I hated this film – but I didn’t. Given what they were given, Dench and company nonetheless shined.  But a better plot with richer character focus would have served them well. 

So, I guess that means Cassidy and I are kinda/sorta disagreeing for the first time. But this was not the kicking and dragging fight I was hoping for. Oh well, better luck next time. 

The Film Fatales give The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: 

+

Movies We Insist You See: Romances

Admit it, you’re just as sappy as we are. (Maybe even more so, considering we’re two pretty tough broads.) For those moments when you want to have a good cry or feel all mushy inside, consider our must-see romantic movie picks. Have a box of tissues handy and some surefire way to retrieve your dignity. 

THE FILM FATALES' Top Romantic Movies

Nicole’s Picks

An Affair to Remember: Sure, a lot of it is cornball 1950s romance, but I defy you not to weep madly when Cary Grant discovers exactly why Deborah Kerr didn’t make it to the top of the Empire State Building that fateful night. And if you don’t, well—you’re obviously heartless.

Out of Africa: Streep and Redford. COME ON! With those two, you just know it’s gonna be great. And how it was, is, and always will be. I will never get over the scene with the lions. Ever. It’s just not gonna happen. I’m typing this and starting to well up. Must.move.on.

Gone with the Wind: It may be a cliché, but there’s nothing quite like Rhett’s unwavering love for that bitch of a belle Scarlet—even if they don’t end up happily ever after.  

 Wuthering Heights (1992): I admit to being a bit of a snob when it comes to adapting the classics into film—especially when it comes to the Bröntes. To date, this is the best version. Everything from art direction to cinematography—this version trumps all others by far. Not to mention a gripping portrayal by Ralph Fiennes (and his piercing blue eyes and jet black hair—smelling salts please!)  Fiennes and Juliet Binoche perfectly embody Heathcliff and Catherine. The coffin scene will have you struck dumb with sadness and awe. 

Sleepless in Seattle: What can I say? Everything’s right in the world when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are paired up. And the fact that my #1 pick plays heavily into this plotline is no coincidence. Never mind that Hanks and Ryan aren’t on screen together for nearly the entire movie—yet the romance still manages to hit fever pitch. How’d they do that?

 elizabeth’s Picks

The Way We Were: Redford and Streisand were the perfect couple in this doomed love story: so different and yet you want their love triumph over outside forces. Put down Fifty Shades of Grey and rent this movie and behold what real hot passion is all about. Come on, look at Redford’s face. Yeah, I don’t want him either.

When Harry Met Sally: I love films that have Manhattan as their backdrop and these two knuckleheads (Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan) did the avoidance dance until they realized that love was staring right at them. Plus, I think humor can be quite sexy and then there is that scene about the fake orgasm that makes me cheer. 

Yeah, like you haven’t been there before?

 

Annie Hall: Maybe it is me, but I love to see people who should not be together, be together. Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) and Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) are perfectly matched as a neurotic couple that can’t get their love on the same psychologist’s sofa.  And again, I think there is something sexy about intelligence and insecurity—something Allen does better than any other human being. I know my friends cover their ears when I say I think Woody is sexy and that I would sleep with him. Again. La-di-da, la-di-da, la la.

The Philadelphia Story: The 1940s had a lot of great romantic movies and I always thought how lucky Katharine Hepburn (Tray Lord) was to have Cary Grant (C.K. Dexter Haven—the name of our fist family dog) as her husband although he was a bit of a drinker and she kicks him out of the house. And then Hepburn’s character decides to remarry. Oh really? Is Cary Grant in the house?

 

The Last of the Mohicans: Okay, this was not filmed anywhere close to Manhattan, but I will sum this up in three words: Daniel Day Lewis. Daniel Day Lewis in long hair and in love. That is all I need. And there is some storyline going on between him being on and off the screen. Who cares?

Introducing THE FILM FATALES Rating System

We admit it, we're no ordinary duo. 

As two sassy broads, we knew the old-fashioned 4-star rating system for reviewing movies wasn't gonna cut it. We wanted something that screamed US! And, what better way to do that than with a spicy red stiletto? Hmm?

So, with much fanfare and drama (as we're wont to deliver at any given moment), we introduce:

THE FILM FATALES Rating System

Four Stilettos

For those movies that really knock our fishnets off. The cream of the crop. The bee's knees of cinematic excellence earns not one, not two or three -- but four sassy, red stilettos.

Three and a Half Stilettos

For those films that are near perfect, but just don't quite deserve a perfect score, there's the three-and-a-half stiletto rating.

Three Stilettos

For those movies that are really and truly great, but not quite good enough to get you that 4.0 GPA you were hoping for. Still admirable, but not head of the class.

Two and a Half Stilettos

For those cinematic misadventures that are really just phoning it in and are hardly worth the celluloid they're printed on. Those half-in-the-can matinee specials. You know the ones.

Two Stilettos

For those films that really don't deserve to be called films. To be honest, these movies would have been better off debuting on DVD.

One and a Half Stilettos

For those movies you're too embarrassed to admit you paid good money to see. The kind of movie that robs you of time, patience, and sanity.

One Stiletto

For those movies that are so God-awful you're left wondering "what in Sam Hill was Hollywood thinking"? Watching Aunt Irma's trip to the Grand Canyon slideshow is time better spent than wasting precious hours on crap like this.

So, that's the scoop! Look for our new rating system to appear at the end of each post. Buckle up, ladies and gents, it's bound to be a bumpy ride ;)

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Got salmon? You can go fishing in the Yemen. The Film Fatales review Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.

2011. PG-13. 107 minutes. Starring Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, Amr Waked, Kristin Scott Thomas and Rachael Stirling. Directed by Lasse Hallström

A fisheries expert is approached by a consultant to help realize a Sheikh's vision of bringing the sport of fly-fishing to the desert and embarks on an upstream journey of faith and fish to prove the impossible possible. [imdb]

elizabeth: Blah, blah, blah. If you never listen to me again in your life, you must see this movie to experience Amr Waked’s portrayal of Sheikh Muhammed. I am not ashamed to say that medics had to tend to me three times during the movie. Those hypnotic eyes. That smile. Those flowing gowns. Medics are needed in aisle three.

Okay, so we didn’t go see the movie to jump start my heart again. We went as serious movie reviewers. LOL. I just bet the make-out couple in front of us had to go home and read the book. So when did making out before, during, and after the movie become the thing for people over 50 to do at the cinema? Where do I sign up?

Back to the Yemeni sheik and the premise of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen: Sheikh Muhammed wants to bring salmon fishing to his country as a way to symbolize harmony between the East and the West. Brilliant idea. So when things get tough, you go fishing together. It could almost work. 

Nicole: While Elizabeth is clearly smitten (as was I) with Amr Waked, the other actors’ performances were equally well crafted. I was totally expecting to be bored out of my mind during this film. I figured, eh, if it’s terrible, I’ll just drool over Ewan McGregor for two hours. Wasn’t I pleasantly surprised to be so totally drawn in? 

My heart broke a little for Ewan’s tragic-comic portrayal as fisheries expert Dr. Alfred Jones, whose high-functioning Autism makes him equal parts outspoken and introverted. My heart broke again for Emily Blunt’s Harriet, who fights through her shyness to open up to love only to experience instantaneous tragedy followed by unexpected surprise. And I nearly peed myself with laughter at Kristin Scott Thomas’ portrayal of the Prime Minister’s press secretary – a really surprising departure for her that was a delight to watch. 

And I think, ultimately, that’s what really made this movie. It was not so much the story or the directing or the art direction – but the characters. And in other hands, perhaps those characters wouldn’t have been as loveable as Ewan, Emily, and Kristin made them. With another cast, Elizabeth and I might well have preferred to watch the middle-aged couple in front of us necking for two hours. (I do hope they found a hotel room. Oh, how I wish I could unsee the things I’ve seen.)

elizabeth: You were going to drool while sitting next to me? And we were making fun of that sucking-face couple?

Nicole: Hey, you were the one who needed a defibrillator whenever Amr appeared on screen. Pot. Kettle. Black. 

elizabeth: I am very confident in stating that this one of my favorite movies in a long time. I like movies that are like a soft kiss on the lips as opposed to whatever the couple in front of us was doing. I am so in favor of people trying to come up with ways for the world to live in harmony that I will accept a fictional account for 107 minutes.

And, Nicole, when are we going to disagree? God forbid people will think we get along. If they only knew.

Nicole: I long for the day we disagree. This agreeing crap is really wearing thin. 

THE FILM FATALES give Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

My Week with Marilyn

NOW ON DVD

Rated R.

Directed by Simon Curtis. 

Starring Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Dame Judi Dench. 

Colin Clark, an employee of Sir Laurence Olivier's, documents the tense interaction between Olivier and Marilyn Monroe during production of The Prince and the Showgirl. [imdb.com]

Nicole: Welp, I’m conflicted, Cassidy. On one hand, I greatly enjoyed this movie (probably because I’m an anglophile), but on the other I disliked it. Why? Two words: Michelle Williams. I’m officially letting the cat out of the bag now, come what may, but I don’t think her performance deserved any buzz-worthy acclaim nor should it have garnered so many award nominations. Perhaps playing an icon as unforgettable and unique as Marilyn Monroe is an impossible feat and I should give her a break. But, I can’t. She tried too hard and didn’t get it right for more than a few scattered moments. It was an inconsistent performance from the first moment to very last scene. 

elizabeth: I did enjoy the movie because I do so love period pieces. But, dare I say, I agree that it had some flaws and Michele William’s portrayal of a sex symbol  left me wondering – was it a great performance or did she run out of oxygen during rehearsals? Was Marilyn Monroe that emotionally beaten up by her then husband, Arthur Miller, or that psycho witch in the form of an acting teacher (who was brilliantly portrayed by Zoë Wanamaker)? I just felt that Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) should have had every right to bury Marilyn in the English countryside. Right after he does something with those eyebrows!

Nicole: Like you, I’m a sucker for period pieces. Who’s the bigger sucker is up for debate. Also, I hate agreeing with you, but I must. I, too, was wondering if the Marilyn portrayed here was laid on just a little too thick or was she actually much savvier than this movie let on? I’d like the think the latter, but judging from her sad history, it’s probably a combination of the two. On my end (and stop staring, it’s not polite), the movie wouldn’t have been worth the watch without the incredible Kenneth Branagh. OH.MY.GOD. Now, this had to be one heady proposition for him: to play the man he was so often compared to in his career – and to hit it out of the park. Every one of his scenes was a pure and utter delight. 

elizabeth: I think the movie should be renamed, “My Week with Colin.” Colin (Eddie Redmayne) started off as this rich, skinny geek of a young man, but I found him endearing. He did a stellar job as a young chap (it’s an English movie – it’s the only time I can say that) falling in love for the first time. Too bad he picked an international movie star. My favorite quote in the movie is: “First love is such sweet deception.”  And it was. Well, I do prefer that line to the melancholy one uttered by Vivian Leigh, “I’m 43. No one will love me for much longer.” Time to mix my meds. Get the popcorn ready.

Nicole:  That’s a bit of all right, and Bob’s your uncle. Cheers! 

  THE FILM FATALES give My Week with Marilyn

The Film Fatales' Best & Worst Dressed: Oscars 2012

elizabeth: Some years the Best and Worst Dressed list is my favorite things about the Oscars, but I think everyone played it a little too safe Sunday night. Did they leave their imaginations in their trailers or did their agents abscond with it? This is starting to be the norm, so finding my fave is a tad harder than finding my most boring. Let the claws come out.

Nicole: It wasn’t the best of the best red carpet last night – but there were some really great highlights and some “WTF was she thinking?” moments.

Melissa McCarthy. Bridesmaids.

elizabeth: Now, I thought Melissa McCarthy was quite funny in a movie that otherwise was offensive at times, but now I have something else to hate – this gown. The color and style make her look like she shops in Plus Sized Girls Are Not Allowed To Be Sexy and she deserves better. The sleeves should be ripped off. That would be a good start.

Nicole: I agree, the more I look at this schmattah, the more I realize just how friggin’ ugly it is. While the cut isn’t so terrible, she really needs to take a page from Octavia Spencer’s book. Now that is how a curvy woman should dress.

Glenn Close. Albert Nobbs.

elizabeth: An older actress in a tux dress? Who would have thought. Glenn is still sexy, so why be all covered up? I am surprised she didn’t wear an apron over it.

Nicole: Well, it’s not THE worst I’ve seen, but it’s a yawn-fest of a dress. Just so, so boring. Glenn should consult with Helen Mirren the next time she wants to rock the red carpet. Helen knows how to work it.

Angelina Jolie doing the Funky Chicken

elizabeth:  is she ice skating under that gown? What is this woman doing with her leg? It’s a slit; we would have found this out sooner or later. Angelina took a perfectly beautiful gown and made herself look completely goofy in it. So now I would say there is hope for all of us.

Nicole: OMG. I cannot agree with you more on the goofy thing going on here. This is definitely a WTF moment. I don’t think Angelina realizes how unattractive she’s become – and this stance is proving it. Doesn’t she see how totally skeletal she’s become? Couple that with the pale hue of her skin and I’m seriously thinking she’s Nosferatu.

Sacha Baron Cohen

elizabeth: This man is a jackass. Albeit a good looking jackass. In this day and age, are terrorists funny? Or good looking?

Nicole: I will say this much – pranking Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet will forever delight me to no end.

Rooney Mara. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

elizabeth: Love her bangs.  It’s Audrey Hepburn looking for a meal look, but I love this look. Youthful, edgy and she stands out in the crowd. And her legs are where they should be as opposed to Ms. Jolie.

Nicole: Cassidy, are you smoking the ganga? She looks like crap. That dress is a travesty. And she needs to buy herself a personality with that billion bucks her family owns.

Penelope Cruz

elizabeth: This is going to kill me to say this, but this is my favorite gown. The cut, the fabric and the train are all reminiscent of a different time and era. Why do I hate to give Penelope Cruz her props? She gets to wake up with Javier Bardem and that kinda sticks in my craw – whatever the hell my craw is. She can’t have everything!!!!

Nicole: You’re so transparent. As if we couldn’t guess the reason you hate Penelope Cruz. Pah-lease. While I do love this dress, my favorite of the evening was Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli.

Sandra Bullock

elizabeth:  Dear Sandy, I have had days when I put on something and then realized too late that I was so, so mistaken and the guilt washes over me. Did you feel that way on Oscar night? Well, girlfriend you should have. Nothing ages a beautiful woman more then to wear her grandmother’s dress. Give it back to her. Please.

Nicole: It’s like a trifecta of wrong. It’s ill-fitted, whatever that design around the waist is looks as if it’s strangling her, and the color-blocking is sooooo unflattering. Oof. Hot mess.