The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey -- Now on DVD & On Demand

The Film Fatales pack their bags for Middle Earth...again.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  NOW ON DEMAND & ON DVD. 2012. 169 minutes. Starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage. Directed by Peter Jackson.

A younger and more reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out on an "unexpected journey" to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug. [imdb]

 

 

 

Nicole: OK, Cassidy, so I know you don’t go in for this sorta thing. You’re not a big geek like me. I’ve been waiting for years for this to come to the big screen – and it did not disappoint. Waiting another year for the 2^nd part, now that smarts. 

elizabeth: Would you please go outside and stare at the big round ball in the sky for ten minutes? I don’t see the appeal of men looking like they haven’t bathe since the days of the Black Plague.  And I think Smaug was my boss at my last two jobs.

Nicole: That's quite possible, but I digress... Let’s first talk casting. I cannot think of another actor that could have played hobbit Bilbo Baggins better. Martin Freeman is inspired – he fits seamlessly into the cast. It’s perfectly believable that he’s the younger Baggins (whom we see played by Ian Holm in this film, as well as the Oscar-winning Lord of the Rings trilogy). He handled the role with finesse, humor, and acuity. Cannot wait to see him continue the journey. Ian McKellen is back as Gandalf the Grey, a role he’s played so many years now it fits him like a glove. And, Richard Armitage as heir-apparent dwarf Thorin Oakenshield is the right amount of moody, betrayed, and fierce warrior. And, let’s not forget Andy Serkis as Gollum – perfecting creepy on a whole new level. The cast is HUGE and I could go on for days, but I’ll leave it there. 

elizabeth: Did you say something?

Nicole: Ignoring you. Now, on to the script. If I had to argue about anything, it would be that I felt they concentrated on some scenes too long, whilst others got little attention. That could be because I’m a whore for elves and really was looking forward to more time spent in Rivendell. I did want to see more of Bilbo’s impression and interaction…but I’ll take what I can get. 

elizabeth: “A whore for elves” – is that on your resume?

Nicole: In fact, yes, it is. Still ignoring you. Special effects – I guess I can say little since I saw this film in SD. (I learned my lesson from Avatar. I cannot handle a nearly 3-hour movie in 3D. Vomiting is a very likely possibility.) What I did notice from the SD version (and Jackson’s choice to shoot the movie at 48 frames per second) was that some things didn’t transition well and looked a tad fake. But it’s scenes like the warring Mountain Giants that make you quickly forget anything that might be off about the film’s production. I was fully clenched the entire time. TMI? If you’re a Tolkien fan, a Jackson fan or just a geeky nerd – invest in seeing this movie and making the commitment to see it through to conclusion in 2015. ‘Cause the journey is well-worth the effort.

elizabeth: You mean I have to wait till 2015 to call you a whore for elves again? Seems so unfair.

Nicole: I think you'll manage.  

 

 

FORMATS AVAILABLE:

• DVD Special Edition
• Blu-ray Combo Pack
• Blu-ray 3D Combo Pakc

 
SPECIAL FEATURES: 

• 10 production videos, including behind-the-camera with director Peter Jackson, on-location and on-set features, a visit to Hobbiton, on the red carpet in Wellington and more.
• 10 fan-centric video blogs

 

The Film Fatales give THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

The Film Fatales look for the wonder in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

2013. 100 Minutes, Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Jim Carrey, James Gandolfini, Jay Mohr. Directed by Don Scardino.

When a street magician’s stunt begins to make their show look stale, superstar magicians Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton look to salvage on their act – and their friendship – by staging their own daring stunt. (imdb)

elizabeth: I went in with an open mind and a brownie that Nicole snuck into the theatre. I laughed through The Campaign (and primal scream therapy has helped me embrace that “silly movies rock” part of me that had been buried for so long) but you just know that a “but” is going to follow… but I was overwhelmed at being underwhelmed. Nicole, I know you are Steve Carell’s secret love child, so can you pull a rabbit out of your hat and tell me what I missed while I was in a sugar-induced coma? BTW – Panera Bread owes you your money back on that brownie. I have an 8:30AM dentist appointment tomorrow.

Nicole: You just seriously aged Steve Carell – I don’t think he’s going to appreciate that. Look, we both had very low expectations for this movie – so don’t get sassy with me, missy. What  I didn’t expect, however, was to sit there for the first 45 minutes without so much as a tee-hee. Not a single ha. Not even the tiniest of internal recognitions that something funny was happening on screen. I can’t believe we had to wait till the very last scene to actually chuckle. That being said, it’s a joy to watch Steve Carell be Steve Carell. Terrible script or not.

elizabeth: I think I would have preferred Burt Wonderstone and his hapless sidekick Anton Marvelton more if the storyline had centered around two dried-up drag queens who saved Las Vegas.

Nicole: Great, you just totally spoiled the semi-auto-biographical treatment about our lives I was about to send Dreamworks.

elizabeth:  I believe I would have cared more about them, the storyline and I would have gladly taken them shopping for something that flatters their skin tones. Just a side note: Carrel’s Wonderstone character in the burgundy velvet ensemble looks like my mother from the mid 1970s. Good thing I tattooed that shrink’s phone number on my wrist.

Nicole: Remind me to never thumb through your photo albums. Yeesh.

elizabeth: Nicole, my mother is on the phone and would like to respond to that last crack of yours. The real magic in this movie is Steve Buscemi appearing to not have one line on his face. I want the number of his makeup artist: STAT. Jim Carrey’s abs took my mind off the poorly written script, but he scared the crap out of me.

Nicole: Seemed like a totally wasted role for Jim Carrey. He’s better off being the lead. This gene-spliced David Blaine/Chris Angel send-up was just not suiting him. I did really enjoy Olivia Wilde and felt that although she’s never done comedy before she was quite good.

 

elizabeth: Veteran actor Alan Arkin is doing something very few actors his age seem to be doing in 2013. He is getting meaty roles and his portrayal of magician Rance Holloway was the bright spot in this movie. He was magical.

Nicole: Agreed. (Even though I’m incredibly biased because I will always have a soft spot for his portrayal of the easily duped Shel in The In-Laws.) He was the best thing about the movie. By a very long stretch.

elizabeth: And before I go up in puff of smoke, let me just say this to all the directors out there: Do not use the Steve Miller song “Abracadabra” ever again. That song is like nails down a chalkboard and I wonder if I would have liked the movie a little more without one of the worst songs ever written. Burt Wonderstone, where were you when I needed you to make something disappear besides this movie?

The Film Fatales give THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE

DOUBLE DVD FEATURE: FLIGHT & SKYFALL

The Film Fatales give you two good reasons to get high. 

Flight. 2012. 138 minutes. Starring Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Nadine Velazquez, Don Cheadle. Directed by View rank on IMDbProRobert Zemeckis. NOW ON DVD and On Demand.  Down 150 this week »

An airline pilot saves a flight from crashing, but an investigation into the malfunctions reveals something troubling. (imdb)




 
elizabeth: After watching the plane scene where Denzel Washington’s Whip Whitaker safely lands a broken plane, I booked my next flight to Europe. Not. It was about as tense a scene as you can get because you are left to ponder, “Is this really what happens when a plane falls out of the sky?” I give director Robert Zemeckis major kudos for leaving me a bout of vertigo. What fun.

Nicole: Yeesh, I’m kind of glad I didn’t strap myself in to see this one – even if the previews intrigued me.

elizabeth: Denzel Washington is probably the finest America actor around today. Like Daniel Day-Lewis (call me), Washington leaves himself behind and morphs into his characters. I always liked the quiet intelligence that he brought to most of his roles from The Bone Collector and Cry Freedom, but since 2001’s Training Day, Denzel Washington has introduced another persona that you are not sure whether you care about or would rather they drop off the face of the earth. But that is part of Washington’s brilliance as an actor. His portrayal of Whip Whitaker as the pilot who takes chances with other people’s lives without feeling too much remorse is spot on. Until…

Nicole: …until! Until, what? Cassidy! How dare you leave me in suspense!

elizabeth: This movie moves along quickly and you are never too sure whether redemption will be his or will he continue to self destruct. And John Goodman’s role as his drug dealer keeps Whip in a haze during most of the movie, which doesn’t help him gain any clarity or take responsibility for his action. Until…

Nicole: …you’re pushing it, Cassidy. Even Hitchcock didn’t resort to this brand of suspense. 

elizabeth:  I think this is the type of movie where you shouldn’t divulge too much about the storyline. But I would suggest that you eat light before seeing it. Let’s just say that one of the lessons that I took from this movie is, “Don’t snort and drink and then pilot a plane full of passengers. It’s not nice.”

Nicole: Great. I’m never getting on a plane again.

 ***

Skyfall. 2012. PG-13. 143 minutes. Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Javier Bardem. Directed by Sam Mendes.  NOW ON DVD and On Demand.

Bond's loyalty to M is tested when her past comes back to haunt her. Whilst MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost. [imdb]






Nicole: I admit it: I love a good Bond movie. I say good, because Lord knows there have been some clunkers in the past (I’m looking at you Timothy Dalton). Make no doubt, Skyfall was a good – scratch that – great Bond movie. (Not to mention it’s a distinct pleasure to watch Daniel Craig be bad ass and look so damn good doing it.)

elizabeth: Oh, please. You really like a good Bond movie? Let me know when they make one.  I have come to the conclusion that all movie violence just kills the curl in my hair and I won’t stand for that. I will agree about Timothy Dalton although there is a dark charm about him. But the poor bloke looks constipated all the time. I have heard that I do have that effect on lots of men.

Nicole: I had my doubts after Quantum of Solace…could the franchise be waning? Could this finally be the end of 007? The long wait proved well worth it. Of the Daniel Craig Bonds, this easily falls second, under Casino Royale. (Humina. Humina.) Where Quantum fell flat, Skyfall soars. That’s probably due to a fair amount of character development. I dare say we learn more about Bond’s inner workings (and M’s for that matter) than in any other Bond movie. Bond’s no longer just Her Majesty’s best and most lethal weapon, he’s a real person. And by learning about his life, we become more and more invested with each passing minute. 

elizabeth: Oh, please. Pass the Midol, heating pad and the Pepto Bismol. He’s a real person.

Nicole: Now, Cassidy, I know you have a deep adoration for Javier Bardem. Can I just tell you how much of a sick bastard he is in this movie? And he plays the part with such pure relish. Bond has had foes in the past, one creepier than the next. But Bardem kicks it up a notch from creepy to “HOLY CRAP!”

elizabeth: Don’t you call my man a sick bastard. Leave my pet names for him alone.

Nicole: So, in summation – if you’re on the ledge about renting Skyfall, come back inside, pop some popcorn and queue up that sucker. Enjoy the ride…and the eye candy.

elizabeth: If you are on the ledge, might I suggest you just jump. It will probably be less painful.

The Film Fatales give Flight and Skyfall each 

Identity Thief

The Film Fatales have changed their identities after seeing Identity Thief

2013. 112 excruciating minutes. Staring Melissa McCarthy, Jason Batman and a cast of characters you just want to forget. Directed by Seth Gordon (your mother must be so proud) and the screenplay writer has changed his identity. Smart move on his part.

Mild-mannered businessman Sandy Patterson travels from Denver to Miami to confront the deceptively harmless-looking woman who has been living it up after stealing Sandy's identity. (imdb)

elizabeth: So you might be able to tell how we are feeling about the movie from the intro to this post. Read it and save yourselves. It is too late for us.

This movie should have stayed a TV commercial because all the funny lines were summed up in thirty seconds…or less. What were any of them thinking? This was a train wreck (although a train wreck never made it into the movie –everything else did in this inane script) and I hope this was not a career killer for the two leading actors. But I am being naïve—the movie is bringing in the bucks. Much to my chagrin.

Nicole: I hate when this happens. Take two likable, talented actors like Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy and pair them together only to waste the opportunity with a terrible script that would be better served lining bird cages than wasting celluloid (yes, yes. I know movies are digital now. I’m a purist. Sue me.)

elizabeth: I am somewhat horrified that Hollywood thinks that portraying a strong woman means that she has to talk like Joe Pesci. I think Melissa McCarthy can be another strong comedic actress in the realms of a Lucille Ball, but she was crass and vulgar and that was a turn off to me. Don’t dumb yourself down. The world is crying for a truly funny movie. Nora Ephorn – we need you!

Nicole: We might part ways there, only because I think Melissa McCarthy might work blue and genuinely like doing so. Her Bridesmaids role was the epitome of crass and frankly one of the funniest comedic performances I’ve ever seen. I’m not opposed to crass humor or a cheap joke…if it’s funny. This movie, however, wasn’t funny. (Case in point: Mel Brooks’ campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. Crass? Yep. Gross? Sure. Funny? Hell yeah.)

elizabeth: Since I can’t even talk about this dreadful movie anymore, let me make a public plea to Melissa McCarthy: I think you need to demand the starring role in a comedic love story like When Harry Met Sally. You could really pull it off. Don’t let the fact that these roles go to size-3 actresses. I want to see you get the guy and live happily ever after on the big screen—right after me, that is.

Nicole: I agree. It’s sad that Hollywood relegates plus-sized women to “best friend” roles. And, when they are fortunate enough to get leading roles, they’re made to look ridiculous or pathetic. Times will change, and just maybe Melissa McCarthy’s obvious box office draw will send a message to Hollywood bigwigs to shake things up a bit.

The Film Fatales give Identity Thief